Play this song to enhance your browsing experience.
In this weeks update, you may notice that I am wearing jorts.
I am tired of jorts being at the butt-end of so many jokes.
As a proud jort owner, I am putting an end to jort-shaming.
However, the tie-dye shirt is still fair game..
This cup contains all the change I have collected over the past year.
I estimate there is approximately $12.25 in this cup.
This money is to be used to help shamus.ca stay running long after my death.
This authentic Joe Nieuwendyk bobblehead is a collectors item that has been with me for many years.
The bobblehead should be donated to the Smithsonian because it is one of the last of its kind.
School of Rock continues to be my favourite movie of all time.
It is important to me that this DVD is donated to a local children's hospital to ensure that the next generation of kids know how to rock.
One of my most cherished collections is my Mad magazine collection.
If it wasn't apparent, these magazines have shaped who I have become today.
And with the recent news of Mad going out of business, they have become much more valuable.
I wish to be buried with my Mad magazines, so I can continue to have some good chuckles in the afterlife.
Yarrr! I have decided to bury a treasure for you to find!
First come first serve.
This is a map of Deer Park in Brantford, Ontario I have made in order to help find my loot.
My booty is buried near the big frog!
Since it's underground it may even grow into 2 potatoes (we in the biz call that an "investment")
My favourite red cap!
I have a fully loaded mousetrap guarding my treasure from potential thieves.
I'm proud to announce that Shamus.ca will be providing the first ever e-Baptisms.
Like nothing ever seen before, you can now be blessed by Shamus.ca!
Hallelujah! For only $1.60 you can be e-Baptized by yours truly!
To cleanse your sins, heathen!
And because I eventually plan on turning this website into a tax haven!
Get in while you can!
E-transfer $1.60 to email@example.com and your baptism will be featured next full moon!
(if your bank has a $5 minimum, email me for my mailing address)
I'm in the market for a place to live, so we visited an open house listed for $350,000. The place reeked of cigarettes, but had a spacious backyard.
However, upon our arrival, the real estate agent demonstrated blatant ageism and believed we were too young to be buying a home.
While this may have been true, it was most definitely unjust.
The master bedroom has a wonderful view of the backyard and an almost-walk-in closet!
Not recommended for people over 6'1"
In this newly renovated bathroom you'll be able to sit back and relax in this state of the art jaccuzzi
However, this bathroom was carpeted and did not have any doors.
Since May, I have been preparing for a big Friday the 13th event.
I was planning on riding my bicycle 60km(each way) to the world's biggest motorcycle meetup.
I have been training for this for months.
I have told all my friends and family about this plan, and even foreshadowed it in the June Shamus.ca update
However, just last week I realized that there is no Friday the 13th this July, and that I must have been looking at a 2018 calendar.
I have been doing intense cardio as a joke for 2 months.
I have accidentally improved my heart health for no reason.
However, I was sure to sit back and enjoy a beer on this Saturday the 13th.
The adrenaline. The risk. My passion for the sport.
These are just some of the reasons I do what I do.
Yeah, I consider myself a skater. A lot of people don't. But tech-decks require just as much coordination, discipline, and style as a full sized deck.
The rush of adrenaline when I hit an ollie.
The satisfaction of finally nailing a trick.
I will continue to push myself for the sake of the sport.
I will single-handedly bring tech-decking to the X Games.
Special thanks to all my dedicated viewers!
Especially those in Guatemala, Greece, Czechia, and Brazil because I don't know how you found this site!
I hope you all keep enjoying my content every full moon!
Something about the flavors just doesn't mix well on the palette.
The chicken was gooey and unflavored. It may have benefited from being marinated beforehand or adding spices.
I would never feed this to my cat, it deserves better.
The beef whiskas was rather bland.
The beef was well-cooked but I was left wanting more.
This is the finest whiskas on the market.
Such a savory delight that I finished my plate after!
The cats may have it better off than we do!
Nah, politics are too polarizing for people to enjoy themselves.
Paddington station or the bear?
The station seems to be efficient.
The bear gets on my nerves though. He needs to toughen up.
I sure am, this website doesn't pay for itself.
All contributors are officially recognized by Shamus.ca.
Contributors may use me as a job reference and I will happily lie about the work you've done.
Ryan Brady (Xbox: RMBsoccer)
-Editor (not a good one)
Brigitte Haynes (IG: @brigittehaynes)
-What's in My Bag? (June)
Hayley Hudson (Twitter: @hayley_hud)
See you next Full Moon!