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Arts & Crafts

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Pasta Tree

This piece demonstrates the immaculate skills of the artist. The fine linework and attention to detail makes this piece difficult to differentiate from the real thing.


$5

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Twister

The world of macaroni art usually emphasizes beautiful landscapes and natural realism. However, "Twister" breaks the traditional norms of macaroni art by introducing surrealist themes into the artwork.


$10

image5004

Starry Night 2

Inspired by none other than Vincent van Gogh, this piece provides a fresh take on a classic painting.


$10

Running for Parliament

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Shamus.ca vs Seamus.ca

It has come to my attention that the domain Seamus.ca belongs to Canadian politician Seamus O'Regan.


I have decided to run for parliament against Seamus. There simply isn't enough room on the internet for two Shamus's, and frankly, Seamus O'Reagan isn't very punk rock.


I encourage you all to  do whatever it takes to help me win, especially committing electoral fraud.

Monthly Corrections

Sometimes I make mistakes... Here is a list of corrections:

1. I stated that I do not like bird-watching and that I think it is stupid. This was entirely false. I realize that I very much enjoy bird-watching, and I even feed the local avians!


2. It is spelled piñata and not pinãta


3. I said I knew a shortcut, and then took us in a longer direction


4. I said Ray Romano was better than Danny Devito. I should not have made such a declarative statement, despite this being a true reflection of my feelings.



There you have it folks, I've only made 4 errors since the last full moon!

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Honest Horoscopes Pt.1

Aries

Taurus

Taurus

You ask Siri too many questions. Quit yelling at your phone and just live without knowing.

Taurus

Taurus

Taurus

I could probably just write anything here and you would believe it.

Gemini

Taurus

Gemini

You need to quit collecting those old t-shirts. It's time to move on.

Cancer

Cancer

Gemini

Just like cancer, you're kind of a freeloader.

Leo

Cancer

Virgo

Redeemable: 1 free 'clutch' coupon. Use this coupon to have a clutch moment. This coupon may be gifted if you please.

Virgo

Cancer

Virgo

You told yourself you would have a summer body by now but you still don't. Yet again, you have failed yourself. Are you just going to continue accepting failure?

Honest Horoscopes Pt.2

Libra

Sagittarius

Scorpio

Libra rhymes with Zebra.

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Scorpio

You're gonna be having a rough one until drake releases new music.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius

Sagittarius

I've already written 11 of these and I'm getting bored. Just pick another sign and roll with that.

Capricorn

Capricorn

Sagittarius

Unless you explore someplace new, you're going to become trapped in your head.

Aquarius

Capricorn

Aquarius

You know bullshit when you see it (so please don't call me out).

Pisces

Capricorn

Aquarius

You're trying to get through life on context clues.

Our Sponsors

Ask Shamus.ca

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Dear Shamus.ca, my sister insists on spanking me before bed. She says it will help develop the muscle in my glutes, but I am skeptical of this method. Do you think there is any truth to this? My bottom could sure use a break. -Ass Hurt

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Not sure who sent this one, but  when I visited the site my webcam turned on¿

Dear Shamus.ca, Can you check this mole for me? Is it benign?

Dear Shamus.ca, my sister insists on spanking me before bed. She says it will help develop the muscle in my glutes, but I am skeptical of this method. Do you think there is any truth to this? My bottom could sure use a break. -Ass Hurt

Sex hot as hell, iron potency. Want it? Order any man booster at bigdixx.com

I'm no doctor, but I have had a few skin cancer scares in my day.  Looks fine to me, but I am NOT liable if you have cancer

Dear Shamus.ca, my sister insists on spanking me before bed. She says it will help develop the muscle in my glutes, but I am skeptical of this method. Do you think there is any truth to this? My bottom could sure use a break. -Ass Hurt

Dear Shamus.ca, my sister insists on spanking me before bed. She says it will help develop the muscle in my glutes, but I am skeptical of this method. Do you think there is any truth to this? My bottom could sure use a break. -Ass Hurt

Dear Shamus.ca, my sister insists on spanking me before bed. She says it will help develop the muscle in my glutes, but I am skeptical of this method. Do you think there is any truth to this? My bottom could sure use a break. -Ass Hurt

I can assure you this method is used by many squash athletes to develop strong glutes! Maybe consider using an ointment to relieve the pain. I'm sure she will help you apply it, you weirdo.

How do I ask Shamus.ca a question?

How do I ask Shamus.ca a question?

Dear Shamus.ca, my sister insists on spanking me before bed. She says it will help develop the muscle in my glutes, but I am skeptical of this method. Do you think there is any truth to this? My bottom could sure use a break. -Ass Hurt

Just email Shamus@Shamus.ca

Is Shamus.ca Single?

How do I ask Shamus.ca a question?

Is Shamus.ca Single?

I sure am, ladies.

See you next Full Moon!