Due to last months nudity my legal team has recommended that I make this an age restricted website.
Don't expect anything too offensive this month. This is simply a precaution.
Play this song to enhance your viewing experience.
In 1907 the great Harry Houdini made a name for himself by escaping a straight jacket while suspended over NYC.
In 2006 Criss Angel made history when he escaped a tank of water while tied down by chains.
In 2019, I, Shamus Marshall will make history by escaping five Chinese Finger Traps while in a Walmart parking lot.
Before I began my stunt I had to somehow obtain Chinese Finger Traps.
This has been difficult ever since they were outlawed by the Geneva convention.
However I knew of one way to get some finger traps... By winning skee ball tickets.
I was successfully able to maneuver myself out of the Chinese Finger Traps!
How did I do it? Well a magician never reveals his secret...
Sexy Cat 1/300
A White Guy "Dressed as Trudeau" 12/5
Fat Thor 4/1
Any Character from The Office 2/7
Area 51 Alien 13/5
*the number on the left is the amount you win for betting the number on the right*
In today's lesson, we're going to learn how to carve a classic jack o'lantern.
Throw the guts away! But save some for later...
Look! We have the same face!
There you have it, the classic Jack O'Lantern.
This is the fun part
Blessed by the holy snowbank, I declare you baptized
All I'm gonna say is that I set the skee ball high score in Medicine Hat, Alberta...
It's mostly based on what's available on SoundCloud.
Say what you will about classic rock, at least the music is accessible.
Not yet at least....
Honestly, I come up with most this shit sometime around the Waxing Gibbous. There isn't much forethought
That's a tough choice to make.
Maybe make "razzed" or "dapper"
Honestly, "or" is also a great word
See you next Full Moon!