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18+

The Following Content Is Rated R

Due to last months nudity my legal team has recommended that I make this an age restricted website.


Don't expect anything too offensive this month. This is simply a precaution.

Audio

Play this song to enhance your viewing experience.

My Resume

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For potential employers who may find this

The Great Escape

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The Stunt

In 1907 the great Harry Houdini made a name for himself by escaping a straight jacket while suspended over NYC.


In 2006 Criss Angel made history when he escaped a tank of water while tied down by chains.


In 2019, I, Shamus Marshall will make history by escaping five Chinese Finger Traps while in a Walmart parking lot.

image4854

Finding Finger Traps

Before I began my stunt I had to somehow obtain Chinese Finger Traps.


This has been difficult ever since they were outlawed by the Geneva convention.


However I knew of one way to get some finger traps... By winning skee ball tickets.

image4855

The Escape

I was successfully able to maneuver myself out of the Chinese Finger Traps!


How did I do it? Well a magician never reveals his secret...

Shamus365

Halloween Costume Betting Odds

Cat 30/1


Sexy Cat 1/300


Trump 1/3


A White Guy "Dressed as Trudeau" 12/5


Shamus 67/3


Fat Thor 4/1


Any Character from The Office  2/7


Area 51 Alien   13/5




*the number on the left is the amount you win for betting the number on the right*

image4856

Pumpkin Carving 101!

image4857

Step 1: Acquire a pumpkin

In today's lesson, we're going to learn how to carve a classic jack o'lantern.



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Step 2: Cut a hole in the top and gut it

Throw the guts away! But save some for later...

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Step 3: Cut out eyes and a mouth

Look! We have the same face!

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Step 4: Add pumpkin guts to mouth

And voila!

There you have it, the classic Jack O'Lantern.

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Bonus: Repurpose the eyes as cat ears


Meow! Hairball!

E-Baptism

image4862

The Rebirth of Texty Ruxpin

The church has received another donation from twitter user @TextyRuxpin


For your own E-Baptism send $2 to shamus@shamus.ca (we accept PayPal, wink wink)

image4863

The Ceremonial Burning

This is the fun part

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The Baptism

Blessed by the holy snowbank, I declare you baptized

Ask Shamus.ca

Are you any good at skee ball?

How do you choose the monthly anthem?

How do you choose the monthly anthem?

All I'm gonna say is that I set the skee ball high score in Medicine Hat, Alberta...

How do you choose the monthly anthem?

How do you choose the monthly anthem?

How do you choose the monthly anthem?

It's mostly based on what's available on SoundCloud.

 

Say what you will about classic rock, at least the music is accessible.

Your living out of a van and that somehow didn't make it into any of the content?

Your living out of a van and that somehow didn't make it into any of the content?

Your living out of a van and that somehow didn't make it into any of the content?

Not yet at least....


Honestly, I come up with most this shit sometime around the Waxing Gibbous. There isn't much forethought

What's your favourite word?

Your living out of a van and that somehow didn't make it into any of the content?

Your living out of a van and that somehow didn't make it into any of the content?

That's a tough choice to make.


Maybe make "razzed" or "dapper"


Honestly, "or" is also a great word

Contributors

Cover Photo

Twitter: @linkindrinkin

See you next Full Moon!