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Cover Photo

Audio

Play this song to enhance your browsing experience.

Science!

image4935

Research Question

What would happen if I ate gravel?

Hypothesis

I expect to shit bricks or have a kidney stone

Procedure

1. Gather gravel from a dirt road

2. Add gravel to bowl

3. Pour milk in bowl

4. Eat gravel

5. Observe the experiment

6. Make conclusions

Results

Intense abdominal pain

Conclusion

I should not eat gravel

Finding Shamus Marshall

The Fugitive

I have recently learned that there's only one other "Shamus Marshall" in existence... And he is a fugitive from Florida.


Wanted for grand theft and battery, Shamus Marshall (the bad one) was last seen in 2016.


This man has tarnished my name and this needs to end. 


For that reason I am offering a bounty of $16 and my Johnny Cash CD to whoever finds him. 

Dead or Alive.



image4936

How to Beat a Farmer's Tan:

image4937

Wear a Ski Mask and Opera Gloves!

Then get tanning!

image4938

Remember to Flip Over!

Book Club

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom: A Critical Analysis


In the story, all the letters of the alphabet climb the tree before eventually collapsing and falling out of it, thus leaving the alphabet in ruin.


This is a critique on the exponential growth of civil society.


It illustrates how modern society is consuming resources faster than we can produce them and is quickly becoming unsustainable, thereby suffocating ourselves of space.


To conclude, the author asks us "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, will there be enough room?" and the answer is no. There simply is not enough room.




Next Month: The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar and The Perils of Capitalism

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E-Baptism

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The Rebirth of Matt Ankenmann

My buddy actually paid for an e-baptism so here we are

image4941

The Ceremonial Burning

I mostly just added this part for theatrics

image4942

The Baptism

By the hand of God, I declare you baptized.

Ask Shamus.ca

Who did the artwork?


  • Check the contributors!


  • Shamus.ca is proud to say we will now be commissioning artists to do a monthly cover photo for the website!

How many birds are there?


  • Somewhere between 60 and 72




Who is the hottest brand mascot?


  • If I had to pick just one, I'd probably say the jolly green giant

Dear Shamus, I hate my job but it pays better than anything else I could find, and my boss will let me work from home if I have a kid. Should I have a baby, or quit my job? Keep the Lunar updates coming! The tides depend on YOU!

- a Friend



  • Dear mysterious friend, keep in mind you're asking an inexperienced 22 year old for life advice. But if I was in your position I would quit the job. It seems like the job is weighing you down more than it's worth. Not to mention, you may feel more stuck in that job if you have a kid because of the added financial burden. Take care of your personal happiness first!





Contributors

Cover Photo

Twitter: @uhhdane

See you next Full Moon!